All of the things make me feel a lot of feelings about myself. No matter what I do literally nothing bad can happen to me. Season 6, Episode 10: Second Chance : Then dream bigger! you’ve got talent, you’ve got name recognition, which means that you have a bright wide-open future with a thousand options. (on vacation in Paris with Ben): In times of stress or moments of transition sometimes it can feel like the whole world is closing in on you. When I was your age, I got banned from every river boat in Germany. Ben is gonna be running my campaign because he’s a super genius and he’s got a tight compact little body like an Italian sports car. When we worked here together, we fought, scratched and clawed to make people’s lives a tiny bit better.
Season 4, Episode 22: Win, Lose, or Draw (to Ann, as the election poles are closing): OMG, that’s it. Look, you love this town, but it’s run by morons, get a better job! When that happens, You should close your eyes, take a deep breath, listen to the people who love you, when they give you advice, and remember what really matters. That’s what public service is all about, small, incremental change, every day.
: I never listened to what you wanted, or how you wanted us to be when things ended between us. They try to learn something from it and they move on. Season 4, Episode 13: Bowling for Votes (after listening to people responding to her campaign ad in a focus group): Well, my campaign has a little momentum, so we’re trying to capitalize on that by doing a focus group. : Saturn’s orbit around the sun takes roughly 29 years. So let’s go tell everybody and they can participate and sign the coin, and then you know the coin will eventually make its way into the Smithsonian (walks over to everyone). (Everyone cheers.) She got approached by the DNC and they think she’s got a great shot to win.
I just decided what I wanted and I got upset when you didn’t want the same thing. Season 4, Episode 10: Citizen Knope (after her campaign managers tell her to sit tight, take a beat, and relax, while they figure out how her suspension affects her campaign): Sit tight? Some things are very helpful, other things are not so helpful. You can trust me (takes her face in her hands) because I don’t care enough about you to lie. And when it gets back to where it was when you were born, lots of turmoil, self-discovery. Indiana native, supremely qualified, and she wrote that she wanted to be governor in her kindergarten dream journal. (is touched, looks at Ben, then turns to everyone with confidence and without skipping a beat): So I’m running for governor (everyone cheers again).
(trying to mediate between arguing soccer coaches): Apparently the girls team does not have a field assigned to them for practice, but the boys team does. Every child has a right to play, no matter how boring the sport.
Season 3, Episode 10: Soulmates (after Ben calls for the UN assembly at a local high school to formally condemn Denmark represented by Leslie for declaring war on Peru, represented by Ben): That’s no problemo, Peru, because Denmark no longer recognizes the authority of this international gang of thugs.
There was another time where I was on a date, and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and the guy said he wasn't "feeling it," so he left and I waited for an ambulance. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". For the next few years, Sebastian was the number one boys name in Pawnee..the number three girl's name!
And then I came here, and I realized that this whole time I was just wandering around everywhere just looking for you. (to drunk Ben and Leslie after she was voted out of City Council, they got drunk and they tried getting tattoos together): Ben, what is the first rule of the Leslie Knope Emotional Support Task Force? So I thank those people who’ve walked with me, and I thank you for this honour. I’m ready because I had the greatest teacher in the world, Leslie, who is crazy! And I will use those days to work as hard as I can. Be the woman who moves away, climbs the ladder and then comes back and has sex with her old English teacher just for kicks. I’ve had a lot of different jobs, including two terms as your governor, and soon a new unknown challenge awaits me, which to me even now is thrilling because I love the work.(to Leslie in his wedding vows): In my time working for the State government my job sent me to 46 cities in 11 years. Not to say that public service isn’t sexy because it definitely is, but that’s not why we do it.It's kind of understandable...although it does kind of make you wonder how good of a nurse she is. Ladies and gentlemen, the world famous Li'l Sebastian! Two days ago I was sobbing at a pizza buffet and they asked me to leave. Ron: The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Leslie: One time when I was in high school, a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him. Leslie: Li'l Sebastian made his debut at the last Harvest Festival in 1987 and he was an instant phenomenon. Do not stand too close when you burn an ex-wife effigy.